A little over a day ago, the Vid.me team released a video roasting YouTube by mocking YouTube's broken system that is now being experienced by most content creators. Titled, How to become Vidme trending -- the answer may shock you! (GONE SEXY), the video is narrated by the Very Human CEO Hugh Manson, a picture of Vidme's CEO were the mouth moves like a puppet with a very robotic voice. Which seems odd and funny but is their way of stabbing at the fact that YouTube is seen to be a faceless automated robot company. So as Vidme's video says, "It's time to shape up Vidme creators!" Here are Vidme's steps to become Vidme Trending! Salty alert, these steps may severely roast the overlord YouTube.
"Start with the thumbnail. According to research, our target demo of humans 18-34 sun cycles old really enjoy sexually stimulating images. Make sure to include at least one of these in your thumbnails regardless of your actual content."
Slowly claps in the background. Ah yes, the problem where almost every clickbait YouTube video has boobs in its thumbnail. Which has been and still is a very easy way to get more views on your YouTube videos.
"Beg for engagement in your videos. Get on your fleshy hands and flimsy leg joints and beg for humans to leave comments and upvotes. This in no way looks desperate and will guarantee you lifelong fans."
All of this is referring to the new unofficial YouTube policy of only promoting videos that have high viewer engagement, aka likes and comments. Currently all the recommended content you will see on your home feed on YouTube is videos with high engagement that most of the time doesn't have anything related to content you watch.
"Promise the humans who comment sanctuary on the upcoming judgment day. That's what we promise our interns."
Now if you haven't watch the video and haven't figured out based on the language they use. The video is portraying the Vidme team to be robots. But back to the subject at hand, they are stabbing at the fact that most of the YouTube clickbait creators promise unrealistic or fake promises to the viewer if they leave a like or comment. YouTuber Jameskii made a video pointing this out using YouTuber TheProGamerJay as an example. TheProGamerJay in his video, IF YOU ONLY SEE RED YOU'RE COLOR BLIND, tells his viewers,
"Right if you guys like this video, just drop a like, you will have amazing luck. Like next level luck for the next week. Like just watch how good your week will be, if you drop a like on this video and it actually work. Obviously it will only works if you're subscribed to so if you are new around here make sure to subscribe and like the video and you will get some really good luck."
Spoiler alert, if you see red you're not color blind. How can you tell someone that if they engage on your video that they will get good luck? The only way that will work is if you are some magical fairy that can send good luck dust through the screen when they like the video.
"Start drama with a larger creator. For instance, accuse one of your fellow humans of being a robot. Which of course they are not as Vidme is a robot free site. But the inciting feud will drive a high volume of traffic to your channel and consequently more money for Vidme!"
This one is pretty self-explanatory. Small content creators create fake exposed videos on much bigger YouTubers to start a flame war between the two fan bases, that's if the smaller creator is big enough to have a following. If you want proof of this, just search "leafyishere exposed" on YouTube. What you will find is 57,200 fake exposed videos, small content creators trying to jump on the bandwagon for views.
"If all that fails, you can always just buy a spot on our featured homepage. Because here at Vidme we work for the almighty cash machine. We have mouths to feed and organs to harvest."
Ok that last part didn't needed to be included in this but it is pretty hilarious. Can you guess what they are pointing out, or throwing shade at is the fact that most of the stuff on the homepage and trending tab on YouTube are clickbait, advertisements from big corporations and clips from late night TV shows. It's hard to argue that YouTube isn't doing that when the currently trending videos from those companies don't have a good views from upload ratio.
Meaning a video with 88k views uploaded 13 hours ago. Oh and this example actually happened. The video was from NFL titled Chiefs vs. Broncos (Week 12) | Game Highlights | NFL. It was the number one trending in the USA. Number 2 trending at the same time was a Star Wars TV ad with only 193,716 views in 15 hours. With videos from Pewdiepie and other large creators getting millions of views in that amount of time, this defiantly smells like paid promotion. The YouTuber h3h3Productions has a great video on this, and even called the YouTube Trending Tab the Paid Promotions Tab.
As the Vidme video says, "Thank you for your obedience!"
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